thumbs in the animal kingdom

i wonder which animal would most benefit from opposable thumbs. i got lost thinking about all animals, so i narrowed it down to animals with four legs (because animals with six are set, and usually have wings as well, and eight-legged animals creep me out).

my dog was lying next to me on the floor, so i thought, 'why not dogs?' but then he started licking himself, and i thought, 'nah...he's good.' bigt cats seem to get along well enough without them (leopards can carry twice their body weight into a tree with their mouth); house cats are devious enough without them. most animals that spend some time on two legs (like kangaroos) have semi-opposable thumbs. primates have opposable thumbs on hands and feet. alligators and bears are scary enough, and at the top of the food chain. penguins' only real danger is in the water, where thumbs don't do much good. most reptiles can carry/climb/hunt/defend with their mouths, poison and hands and feets without opposable thumbs.

the more i think about it, the more i can see most animals not only without benefit, but maybe at a disadvantage if given opposable thumbs. they kind of stick out from the hand like a ...nah, i won't go there. but i jam mine all the time, and get it hung on stuff, and roll on it, and then i'm somewhat incapacitated without it. right now i have a chunk of skin missing from my sprained left thumb (indoor soccer and frisbee), and a cut on my jammed right thumb (dinner and bjj), and that made breakfast difficult to eat this morning. and that's not being clumsy, just athletic (except for the cut, but sometimes my kitchen is a war zone while cooking dinner). and think...a lot of animals that you think might benefit from opposable thumbs are really clumsy. they don't need that extra opportunity for injury in their lives.

what i need to find is a truly pathetic, somewhat helpless, although coordinated enough to handle a semi-vulnerable appendage that can actually benefit from its many gifts without being dependent to the point of total incapacitation if and when the thumb becomes the subject of injury. any suggestions?

also, cocoa krispies makes awesome chocolate milk.

bjj vs cereal

i was supposed to sit in on two bjj private lessons this morning, but both cancelled (no one told me until ten minutes until each lesson) and i am stuck without the motivation to get my physical activity in another way. so instead, i'm going to eat a box of cereal. but not just a box of cereal...i will eat the equivalent of one box of cereal (12-16 ounces) of every kind of cereal i have: honey combs, smacks, and fiber one honey clusters, in that order. this would have been more exciting a few days ago before i ran out of multi-grain cheerios and total; maybe next time.

...

whatever

hiccupping

i have been hiccupping for four to six hours straight two nights in a row. hiccups are annoying. my throat is tiredsore. now hiccups hurt. lame.

poem a day challenge

i participated in Robert Lee Brewer's PAD Challenge last November, and i'm thinking about doing it again this year. it started yesterday, open to all people, and he's very flexible on dates and participation, with only a final deadline for the month's submissions, and another for the optional chapbook. the only thing holding me back is a theme. it's not necessary, but i like the focus and challenge of trying to write thirty poems about the same subject; and i enjoy seeing the variety of poetry that comes from the different prompts.

so a theme. no idea. last year i jumped in the first day without a clue, but a theme emerged in the first few lines of my poem. 'fear' was a great theme for me, but this year i'm blanking out. i could take the first prompt anywhere, and the second, but for now they don't seem to intersect. i contemplated 'oilfield' or 'numb' or 'letting go'...but i'm done with the oilfield (mentally a few months ago, physically in a few weeks) and 'letting go' is far from consistent. i haven't felt much of anything lately, not strongly or for very long, so numb is the current favorite. but if the first two prompts are any indication, it could be a rough month trying to write around that subject. i might enjoy the challenge, but if nothing comes i won't write anything. i hate forcing poetry. luckily i can submit a few days at a time, so i might just play around with some more ideas for a few days before i decide.

egg nog

normally overlapping holidays upsets me...but today, two weeks before halloween, i saw the first egg nog of the season. most excellent.

and then joe and i split a quart of egg nog. that was kinda gross.

"hey, you made me think of this"

i am considering giving a copy of any poem/story i write about or inspired by someone to that person. i do not see it as a matter of fairness or deserving...i just feel they should have it.

However, there are some problems. i would want to include everything i write...or at least complete (for reasons to be explained later). Should i include the randoms that inspire me? they are often gone before i even begin writing, but what if they are still around? i want to avoid getting tased approaching a stranger. And what about the people with whom i no longer communicate. there are reasons for that. good reasons. or at least there are now. this project is not a sufficient excuse to try to bridge [most] of those one-time friend/relationships.

And there are more. My writings could be interpreted poorly. Some are not the nicest bits of writing. Some are mean. Some are angry. Some are passionate. All are my feelings (or my attempt to relate/understand a feeling i have never felt) but they do not necessarily represent how i feel beyond a moments wonder. i would not want someone to feel awkward around me because they think the writing a ballad of hatred/infatuation/apathy etc...

Some people will not care and some will not appreciate them. not the quality, i could care less what people think there. But the content...for my efforts to reach out, to include them in something important to me. that might hurt if we are friends. the ones i am not so familiar with will probably think i am creepy. even some i know might think that way. i have never been creepy; not sure how i feel about/would handle that. then there are the people who just do not like or understand poetry. Would i have to explain? Should i? Would they be open to the idea, or is the form itself so odious as to discount the conent?

i can only think of one reason to go through with my idea: i want to. i have never shared my writing (i.e. myself) on such a personal level beyond a few isolated incidents. i have never felt a huge desire for it...i am shy, a little apathetic and content writing for myself. And although the times i have shared i enjoyed the experience, those have been with a very few close friends, and it was sharing, not just me handing out words on paper and saying "you made me think of this." i also have some concerns about how my friends and other recipients might handle my writings. i am past the creepy thing, but i do not want to offend a friend because they misinterpret how i came to write these words. i am not sure they would be able to make the connection between themselves and whatever i put to paper. not saying this in a degrading way; i can hardly follow my own thought process, i think it a little much to expect of anyone else.

i really do not want to bother anyone. And this seems a wholly selfish idea to involve people (most of whom i care about to varying degrees) in an endeavor that appears to serve them with nothing more than a bit of nuissance and confusion. but thinking this is exactly why i want to share the writings without prejudice: to break free from the worry/fear that frustrates pieces of my life. i have always kept my feelings inside, and the more i feel the tighter and deeper it is held. but there are a couple recent instances where i have let go and opened myself up to other people. it was an experience...not entirely unpleasant, and although it freaks me out a bit, i feel better afterward.

letting go the things i hold closest--my fears, hopes and regrets--allows me to enjoy life without thinking so much. once i put something on paper, the worry that fades is tangible, and the calm i feel inside matches the calm i have outside. letting people in feels like that, but with a vulnerability that brings me closer to myself and closer to those people i care about.

still not sure if i will go through with my thoughts...