27 April 2008

Is God responsible for...?

Some people thank God for their good fortune, and some blame Him for their misfortune. Most Christian Doctrine teaches us that thanking Him is expected, but that blaming Him is near blasphemous. I don't see how one can exist without the other. If God is responsible for the successes of a person's life, then he must be responsible for their failures, not solely, but at least equally. You cannot assign fault after the outcome; if God is in any way responsible for a series of events, then He must be given, and accept, His share of the responsibility of the outcome, because it would be a result (directly, indirectly, solely or in part) of His actions.

Another thought: if man is governed by predestination or religious-based fate, God must be solely and ultimately responsible for all things. But if we have the gift of choice, as I believe we do, how much blame or praise does God deserve, given that any occurence is the result of the definite actions of various people from a pool of infinite choice and therefore infinite possibility, otherwise ungoverned?

25 April 2008

reflecting on expectations and obligations

I've been out of school for almost a year (well...summer school, but who really counts that? (except dr. h's speech class, that was real stuff)), and I'm starting to evaluate my life; not so much a judgemental sense, more a reflective look at the last few years leading to this point, the paths ahead, and the expections and failures and successes I've gone through.

I've spent a lot of time wandering and pondering--pretty much all of college--just taking life as it comes. It has and continues to work well for me, but responsibility and dependency inevitably set in with [time and] age. This means my own living arrangements, transportation, food and a job to support the wants and needs of an early twenty-something single guy. My last year in college living off campus eased the transition, but the real world is harsh no matter how you enter it.

For me, the hardest part was the unexpected move closer to the monotony of life after college. I've seen this life in others and am a bit afraid. Yet some of my family and friends have maintained a certain level of excitement throughout their lives, and I have hope for myself. But this syndrome, living life as preservation of the species, threatens at every turn. I graduated right on cue (with a summer session margin of error), got a job, and now looking at buying a house. And I'm only twenty-two. Crazy. For me at least; some want to get on with the rest of their lives, marriage and houses and kids and such, but that's not me. Not that I'm trying to artificially delay the rest of my life--time waits for no one--this is the rest of my life, chillin' and taking things as they come. But the more and more I think about it, this house thing is another step down a path towards that great dull light of adulthood.

I'm not saying a house and the responsibility that goes with it, or any manner of adult responsibility ultimately leads to a lame existence, but it can. And I know myself, I'm not worried that spontaneity will fail me. But I do fear opportunity will fade into obligations. The house thing, along with other minor decisions in my life, are not necessities, or much wants, just opportunities. And what happens when I rush into a binding agreement because it makes sense and find out, months, weeks or even days after it's too late, that there's more for me than the path I've chosen? Sense, logic and reason have always closed doors and narrowed my paths, and I've always embraced the gift of choice and done what I wanted anyway. Two things usually happen: it turns out better than it could have otherwise, or I end up learning things the hard way, but sometimes that's the only way I learn, and it's always the best way. This is a gamble I'm willing to take; sense, logic and reason be damned...I'll use you when I feel I should.

Commitment is for some people, and maybe an older version of myself, but me, now, no way. I will try again in a few months and see where I am; maybe by then I'll be comfortable enough with myself to know that no matter what obligations I have or will undertake they won't hold my back from being me.

23 April 2008

post-college revelation

I am amazed at the disparity of world knowledge amongst my coworkers. Some people are completely ignorant to anything outside of hunting and strip clubs, yet some are better informed than most people I know. I'm beginning to understand that the blue-collar environment is more closely related to the happenings on Capitol Hill than I previously thought. I think the people in blue-collar industry have a lot riding on politics. That is where you find unions, lobbying, and industries regulated by many federal agencies (the EPA for one); jobs that heavily reflect the decisions made in the political arena. Coming from the Pacific Northwest, we were less concerned with the federal issues, but I do remember the loggers, mill workers, fishermen and farmers discussing the latest in local politics. And then in college, students seemed very radical and issue-intense at every level of legislation (federal down to new university rules), often overlooking the big picture--as many college kids with dellusions of untouchability often do (but in college you can get away with that)--while the professors were always more concerned with how issues outside of their immediate life would affect them.

I never thought that college kids could be so narrowminded, especially about themselves. Experience and wisdom trump enthusiasm and ignorance. Too bad I didn't figure this out in college.

13 April 2008

honeymoon suite

i stay at motels for my jobs that are a few hours from home...usually super 8. i always get non-smoking because smoking is gross, i try to get a king size bed because i can never decide between the two queens (although the extra pillows are nice) and as of tonight, i will no longer leave my room assignment up to the desk lady; i will request the honeymoon suite that is always the adjacent room. i'm tired of...honeymoon noises...until late into the night when i have to be up at four or so in the morning. i wasn't aware that super 8 provided such an option, but apparently they do, because i always get stuck in the room next door.

10 April 2008

april fools

this is not a joke or gag or whatever. i'm honestly unhappy with april fool's day. i've been thinking about it for a few days...the guys i work with pulled stupid stuff all day and won't let it go. it was annoying. mostly because they do this all the time, not just the first of april. and every time i called them on it, they just said 'april fools' with a dumb grin on their faces. am i bothered...yes. because april fools is a deceptive and nasty holiday. it's an excuse to lie and be an a--hole to people, or tell a truth you don't want/weren't supposed to tell, then gauge the reaction, and if unfavorable, say 'april fools' and make them feel like the fool. i refuse to play along with the insidious ramblings of these cowards hiding behind april fools.

07 April 2008

[e.g.] scooters, vacation, fall

the suggested labels remind me of a brilliant september day in high school. it was late september...a few weekends into my junior year, when some of us decided the beach needed a visit. normally, this would be crazy talk (late september on the northwest coast) but one last day of summer somehow snuck into fall, so off to the beach. we brought tons of food, tents, blankets (it's still cold), a soccer ball and frisbee. someone (not this guy) got the genius idea to rent scooters and ride them on the beach. i, like an idiot who can't see the future, was all about some scooterage...until, while riding along the surf, hit a clam digging hole (a big one, must have been a geo duck) and crashed. much sand in the shorts, and soaked with forty-three degree salt water. not cool.

cotton swabs

I wonder...for the first ear application of cotton swabs, was removing the wax a consequence of a wet-eared man trying to get dry, or drying that of a dirty-eared man?

03 April 2008

christian guilt

i'm about tired--no, i am tired--of getting e-mails with a christian theme, or just any theme, that have that heavy dose of christian guilt at the end coercing you into forwarding [what usually turns out to be] a lame e-mail to your friends and family. you know what i'm talking about...the e-mails that say "you may not believe in God, but he believes in you, pass this on if you do, if not, just delete it" (and have fun serving the dark lord for eternity, but they never actually attach that part), or "pass this on if you're not afraid to stand up for your God" (even though the e-mail is another dumb set of jokes or feelgood story that your friends and family have asked you not to forward anymore).

and they have some sneaky e-mails, with cool titles like "check out this crazy explosion" and the first line of the e-mail is "would you have opened this had it said 'check out this awesome God?'" the answer is no, i wanted to see an explosion, and i don't rely on e-mails to guide my spirituality, and i don't feel bad for deleting chain e-mails of any kind. God doesn't care either, his inbox is full enough.