04 November 2008

new poem and nanowrimo update

taking a break from my novel. i'm about 53 written pages in (who knows what that translates to in type world (hard to be rhetorical in print)) and using the afternoon to relax and work on some other stuff. thanks for the encouragement i've received from everyone so far, it helps more than you know. oh, and PAD is going well. i still have no idea what i'm doing beyond writing poems, but i'm ok with that.

something i wrote thinking about home

Evergreens

The autumn rains
provide flowers
a last chance to bloom,
before the gloom of winter
consumes the land.

In the fields,
stocks and vines
are ripe with wondrous hues,
while dappled treasures emerge
from the somber ground.

And floors of warm houses
are alive with holiday jubilee;
the rainbow represented
on their tables
of fun and fancy free.

But fall is not all
brightly colored things,
and deep shades
of celebration,
surrounded by falling leaves.

Some things endure,
no matter how the wind blows—
forests of never-fading
browns and greens
backdrop every festive tone.

These stoic trees
stand steadfast, just the same
through each bustling season,
embracing the commotion,
with ageless patience and grace.

2 comments:

Clockworkchris said...

Wow, you actually write write. I did that. With a pen and paper for a while. I think my typing skills, and the fact that I have an excellent text to speech program has stopped that completely. I'm only on like single spaced page 10 of nanowrimo which is behind pace but 3k words a day is easy, I too started late. I detest actual writing because it reminds me too much of work. That junk just escaped my mind-onto the poem.

This is awesome. I have never compared an evergreen to what I can now compare it too-someone with a flat affect. Surroundings change and it does not. Fall is my favorite month but it's a fair 50/50 split likely here with the evergreens and other trees so I get to see the leaves changing. You used so much description. The first stanza is awesome and so is the second, but I didn't expect a rhyme to be in the third. It stood out and changed the tone. From that point on the poem seems to take on another meaning and hits me as humanity and not just trees.

jared david said...

yeah, write write. see: http://whateverescapesmymind.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-i-write.html ...probably confusing if you don't know me, but the last part is pretty clear.

i've been checking in on your nano blog, i wish i had more time to get into it, but glad to see you're chiseling away.

the poem...i often think in rhymes...so it's hard to cut them out sometimes. i tried in the first two and the last two stanzas, except for blow and tone, to draw a distinction...humanity and trees is probably the way i would have said it had i said it first

thanks for the kind words